Sunday, June 8, 2008

My Testimony shared during the launching of DSWAN

Launch of DSWAN Single Again Ministry in Glad Tidings.
Date:- 23rd July 2006 Time 1.00pm
Special thanks to:- Pastor Vincent Leoh, Pastor Lee Kuan Ming and Pastor Linda Khoo
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My God. He is the most important person in my life. He is my provider, my protector, my advocate, my comforter, my friend and without Him I would probably be very lost somewhere and probably very miserable, living a sinful life maybe; because of temptations, I could be vulnerable, influenced by wrong ideas and misguided by things of this world.

As I share this with you, I hope you will be as excited as l am about what God is doing now in my life and going forward, see how God is going to move this ministry with all of your involvement.

Some of us became what we are today because we may have made mistakes and some of us were left in this situation without a choice. Well, how did I get here? Many years ago, I got married and expected to live happily ever after. You know what I mean? I thought I was in love or maybe I was afraid I’ll miss the boat. I don’t know – each of us have our own story to tell. Then I found out that living with an alcoholic who denies he has a problem was not easy. I began charting my happiness grid and realized that my unhappy days were much more than my happy days and after much sobbing and thinking I made up my mind to leave for the sake of my daughter and myself – life is too precious and too short to continue the way it was! I stopped wallowing - it did not benefit anyone. I took stock of my life and decided that I will be responsible for the innocent child who did not ask to be born into this world. I took my daughter who was then seven months old and walked out of his life.

After leaving the marital home, money was tight - being on my own was not easy, I had to pay for rental, car, child care, milk powder, diapers and all the rest. Although the court nullified the marriage in 1997 and gave me custody of my child including maintenance, he could not accept the dissolution of the marriage but continued to cause a lot of trouble for me – harassing me daily. It was a terrible nightmare for me and my life was a living hell.

At this juncture, I also want to say that divorce did not solve my problems, there was no money - maintenance did not come but more troubles came but God changed my views of the situation. I was so unhappy and almost suicidal but God was so gracious, merciful and so loving.

I thank God I found Him. He sent my ex-MD’s secretary to share Christ’s love with me. She got her church to pray for me that I may know who God really is. I praised and thank God that with her sharing, I found Jesus. I became a Christian in Sept 1998 about one year after my divorce. I was invited to a cell group, which is a Friday gathering where I was fed God’s word, God’s love, their food and their joy. I loved the laughter generated at the cell especially during ice breakers. I had not laughed for such a long time - I have forgotten how to laugh. My face was so plastic and people were just faceless impressions - walking trees. But now, I have the joy of the Lord. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!

As a young Christian, I went through many challenges aside from my ex-husband’s constant harassment, no knowledge of God’s word, lack of trust and faith in God including spiritual attacks. You know, I accepted God but I had many things in my house and in me that were not of God. Lack of trust for others, sensitive about my own situation and did not know how to deal with self-esteem issues. Besides that, financial problems – very angry, unforgiving, frustrated and impatient with the situation of my life. I hated my life but God was so good. He sees me through all my difficulties and there were so many victories, it would take me days to tell you all. I would love to share some of these testimonies with you some time.

I thank God that during my time of needs, many friends offered to help. As much as I had received help in prayers and various other ways, many could not really understand me as they were never in the same situation. They asked questions which were offensive and I felt judged. Married women eyed me with a suspicion when their husbands tried to have conversations with me. During that time, I took offense when I thought they were whispering about me. It was at that time that I really felt it would be nice if there was someone or a support group like this one, that could understand me and minister to my needs. Praise God! l know He will never fail me and will always be there for me as He loves and wants to bless me.

In June 1999, I prayed and wrote a proposal for a 'single again' ministry to be set up at our church. I was only a 10 month old Christian. Seven years later, the church saw the need for this ministry and DSWAN was birthed. My special thanks to Pastor Vincent, our main pastor, who resurfaced the proposal, after it had being kept in file all those years. In fact, my original copy of the proposal has turned light yellow and even the staple pin has turned rusty due to aging. Praise the Lord we now have this support group, DSWAN (Divorced, Separated, Widowed, Abused, Neglected Networking). Join us!

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